Updated: Jun 19, 2020
What does being kind and firm in parenting mean? To start out with we will talk about the three types of parenting styles. The first one is “The Boss” which means you, as the parent, have all the power, and your kids should obey you simply because you’re the parent. The second type is “The Permissive” which means your children are the center of the universe, so they have all the power. The third type of parenting style is kind and firm which means your children are part of your family, not the center of the universe. You know your children’s personalities and can create boundaries without breaking your children’s spirit.
Being kind and firm means you are proactive in your parenting instead of reactive. You take a step back, observe, and think before you act. You work on ways to show your children what to do instead of constantly telling your children what to do or what not to do.
Being kind and firm means you look for solutions instead of blame and realize that the person who can and must change first is yourself. By changing yourself even in the smallest ways, you can positively influence your children’s behavior. Being kind and firm means you give your children many opportunities to develop the belief that they are capable. They are capable of controlling their own behavior and making positive choices.
Being kind and firm means you give yourself and your children permission to make mistakes, to be imperfect, and to keep trying because you know that mistakes are the best teacher and that it is human nature to make them.
Adopting a kind and firm mindset happens one step at a time. Reflect on your strengths and the strengths of your family. Think of areas you’d like to improve and work on one issue at a time. That way you won’t overwhelm yourself or your children.