You’re Not Failing—You Just Didn’t Know

“I should have known.”

If you’ve ever had this thought as a parent, take a deep breath. You are not alone. And more importantly, you’re not failing.

The Hidden Struggles of Neurodivergent Kids

On episode 83 of the  Every Brain is Different Podcast, Lauren and I had the privilege of talking with Katey Fortun, a motivational speaker and advocate for neurodivergent individuals. Katey’s story is one that so many parents can relate to—because it’s about the struggles we don’t always see.

Katey didn’t find out she had dyslexia until she was 10 years old. For years, she masked her struggles at school, earning good grades and appearing to be just like every other student. But at home? It was a different story.

Every night, she and her mom would sit at the kitchen table, trying to get through homework. Frustration turned into tears. The same words she had read correctly one moment would seem unrecognizable the next. It didn’t make sense, and it left both Katey and her mom feeling defeated.

The hardest part? No one saw what was really happening.

And that’s the reality for so many neurodivergent kids. They work hard to keep up, to fit in, to not let anyone see how much they’re struggling. As parents, we don’t always catch it right away—because to us, this is just how our child is.

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

One of the biggest challenges parents face is recognizing when something is different. We only know what we’ve experienced, and often, we assume our child’s struggles are just part of their personality or development.

It’s not until we see a younger sibling picking up skills more easily, or a teacher flags concerns, that we start to realize: something is going on here.

But even then, many parents fall into guilt. They look back and wonder, Why didn’t I see this sooner?

Here’s the truth: You couldn’t have known.

And that’s okay. What matters is that now you do.

Supporting Your Neurodivergent Child

The best thing you can do for your child—no matter when you recognize their needs—is to support them moving forward. Katey shared some incredible insights on how parents can help their kids navigate the world with confidence:

✅ Find Their Strengths – Every brain is different, and your child has unique strengths waiting to be discovered. Whether it’s hands-on learning, creativity, problem-solving, or big-picture thinking, focus on what they can do instead of what they struggle with.

✅ Advocate for Them—and Teach Them to Advocate for Themselves – Kids need to learn how to ask for what they need. Help them build the confidence to speak up in school, with friends, and in other areas of life.

✅ Celebrate Differences – Learning differently isn’t a weakness—it’s a superpower! Help your child see their value, not in comparison to others, but in how they uniquely contribute to the world.

You’re Doing Better Than You Think

If you’re reading this and feeling that familiar pang of guilt, let it go. The fact that you’re here, learning and growing, means you are already doing what’s best for your child.

Want to hear Katey’s full story and how her journey can help you navigate yours? 

Check out her interview on Every Brain is Different.

You are not alone in this. And you are exactly the parent your child needs.