The Dopamine Menu: Practical Strategies for your ADHD or Autistic Child

Sometimes I sit on my couch completely unable to move. I want to do everything on my to do list but I can’t get my ADHD brain to move my body. I feel so lazy and worthless. Why can’t I move?!

Do you ever see this in your ADHD or Autistic kid? Like they’re running on empty when it comes to motivation, focus, or just getting through the day? 

It’s not just you, and it’s not just me.  

Many neurodivergent brains don’t naturally produce as much dopamine—the “feel-good” brain chemical that helps with motivation, learning, and regulation. This can make everything from getting dressed in the morning to finishing homework feel like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops.

So, how do we help our kids stay engaged, regulated, and motivated without constant battles? We use the Dopamine Menu.

Briana McCallum breaks it down in episode 89 of the Every Brain is Different podcast. 

What is a Dopamine Menu?

Think of it like a restaurant menu, but instead of food, it’s filled with activities and strategies that give your child’s brain the dopamine boost it needs in a healthy, sustainable way. Instead of relying on random rewards or screen time as the only motivator, a dopamine menu offers multiple levels of support to help regulate and refuel their brain.

🍏 The Wholesome Dopamine Boosters

These are the everyday habits that keep their dopamine levels steady and support long-term regulation:
✅ Playing outside
✅ Movement (jumping, swinging, climbing)
✅ Creative play (drawing, LEGO, storytelling)
✅ Deep-pressure input (weighted blankets, big hugs, sensory swings)

🍟 The Quick Fixes

Sometimes, they just need a fast hit of dopamine to reset! These offer small, instant boosts:
⚡ Fidget toys
⚡ Listening to a favorite song
⚡ A short burst of screen time
⚡ Popping bubble wrap (so satisfying, right?)

🍰 The Big Rewards

These are planned, bigger dopamine boosts that help maintain long-term motivation:
🎉 A trip to the park
🎉 A special one-on-one outing
🎉 Their favorite meal
🎉 A family movie night with popcorn

How to Build Your Child’s Dopamine Menu

You can create a customized dopamine menu with your child. 

Here’s how: 

1️⃣ Observe: Pay attention to what naturally makes your child happy, calm, or re-engaged. What activities help them reset?

2️⃣ Categorize: Sort these activities into the different sections of the menu (Wholesome, Quick Fixes, and Big Rewards).

3️⃣ Use It: When your child is struggling, redirect them to their menu options instead of just saying “calm down” or “focus.” Give them choices that work for their brain.

Why It Works

Neurodivergent kids often hear “just try harder” when they’re struggling with focus or motivation. But it’s not about trying harder—it’s about giving their brain what it needs to function. A dopamine menu helps them learn self-regulation strategies while giving them a sense of control and autonomy.

To listen to the whole conversation check out episode 89 of the Every Brain is Different podcast with special guest, Briana McCallum where she talks about more practical ways to support your neurodivergent child.