Trusting Yourself: What One Parent’s Journey Can Teach Us About Raising a Neurodivergent Child

When you're raising a neurodivergent child, the pressure to get everything “right” can be overwhelming. From therapy recommendations to diagnosis labels to school placements, it feels like every decision could make or break your child’s future. In Episode 114 of Every Brain Is Different, we spoke with Robert Delena, author, parent, and fierce advocate for his son Ryan, about what it means to trust yourself as a parent.

Here’s what we can all learn from their story.

Diagnosis Isn’t Destiny

Ryan was diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder at a young age. The label came quickly, and the interventions followed just as fast: therapeutic schools, restraints, medication. Professionals told Robert and his wife that their son would never live independently, hold a job, or even go on a date without specific therapies.

They trusted the experts. Because that’s what they thought they were supposed to do.

Over time, it became clear that the system didn’t understand Ryan the way his parents did. Robert began to question everything. Was Ryan truly who the system said he was? Or were they trying to force him into a mold that didn’t fit?

Trust That You Know Your Child Best

The moment things began to shift was when Robert took Ryan skiing on a whim. What had been a “let’s just get out of the house” day turned into a life-changing moment.

Ryan thrived on the mountain. He was calm. Confident. Regulated. Suddenly, all the behaviors that were labeled “problems” made sense. Ryan was a risk taker, and skiing gave him a place to channel that energy in a productive, joyful way.

It wasn’t a miracle cure. It was simply the right environment for him.

Interests Aren’t Just Hobbies, They’re Lifelines

Skiing didn’t just help Ryan get through tough weekends. It became his passion, his identity, and eventually his career. Today, he’s a certified climbing guide, a ski expert, and a YouTuber with a growing audience.

Finding something your child loves can be transformational. Not just because it helps with regulation or behavior, but because it reminds your child (and you) that they have something special to offer the world.

You’re Going to Mess Up and That’s Okay

Robert was honest about the guilt he still carries and about the decisions he wishes he could undo. But what stood out most was that he never gave up trying. He stayed curious. He kept looking for what worked.

Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you’ll never make mistakes. It means you’ll keep showing up, keep listening, and keep trying because no one knows your child like you do.

For more strategies from Robert, listen to episode 114 of the Every Brain is Different podcast.