The Power of Patience: Why Waiting Can Be the Key to Connection With Your Autistic Child

When you ask your child a question, how long do you really wait for an answer?
Five seconds? Maybe ten?

For many neurodivergent kids, that’s not enough.

In episode 134 of the Every Brain is Different podcast, guest Jennifer Celeste Briggs shared how learning to wait transformed communication with her daughter, Sarah. Sarah was nonverbal for many years, and through the Sunrise Program, a parent-led approach to connection and language, Jennifer discovered that slowing down could change everything.

She calls it the “milkshake moment.”

One day, Sarah asked for a milkshake using only a sound and a sign. Instead of rushing to make it, Jennifer gently said, “Can you try saying the whole word?” Then she waited, really waited. After a long pause, Sarah made a sound. Jennifer celebrated exuberantly.

That moment showed her the power of belief and time.

Even now, years later, Jennifer says she sometimes counts to 20 or 30 in her head after asking a question before deciding her daughter isn’t going to respond, and often, just as she’s about to give up, Sarah answers.

It’s a reminder many of us need: silence doesn’t mean your child isn’t listening. It means they’re processing.

As professionals and parents, it’s easy to fill silence with more words, more questions, or more prompting. But kids, especially neurodivergent kids, need space to think, to regulate, and to find the words or gestures that work for them.

I’ve seen this firsthand in my own work with children. Early in my career, I assumed a lack of response meant a child didn’t hear me or wasn’t interested. Now, I train my team to wait. Ask a question and wait. Give the kid time to process. Give them time to show you what they can do.

When we slow down, we’re saying, I believe in you.

The next time your child doesn’t respond right away, resist the urge to fill the silence. Count to 20. Wait with patience and trust. You might be surprised by what happens next.

For more from our interview with Jennifer Celeste Briggs, check out episode 134 of the Every Brain is Different podcast.