How to Give More Positive Feedback to Your Neurodivergent Child

If you’ve ever felt like your neurodivergent child hears more criticism than praise, you’re not alone. Research shows that neurodivergent children receive more negative feedback than their neurotypical peers. That can deeply affect their self-esteem, confidence, and emotional well-being.

But here’s the good news: We can change this pattern.

By intentionally shifting our focus from what went wrong to what went right, even in the smallest moments, we can help our children build a stronger sense of self-worth.

How Can We Do This?

Praise the effort, not just the outcome – Instead of saying, “Great job finishing your homework,” try, “I see how hard you worked to focus on that assignment!” This reinforces the process of learning, not just the result.

Recognize positive social interactions – If your child steps outside their comfort zone to engage with a peer, acknowledge it: “I love how you asked that friend to play with you!” This helps them see their progress, even in areas that might feel challenging.

Highlight emotional regulation – Managing emotions can be tough, especially for neurodivergent kids. When they express their feelings or calm themselves, let them know you see it: “I appreciate that you took a deep breath instead of yelling.”

Acknowledge independence – If they take initiative, no matter how small, celebrate it: “Thank you for putting your plate in the sink without me asking!” Reinforcing these moments encourages self-sufficiency and confidence.

Why This Matters

When kids only receive attention for negative behaviors, they learn that negativity is the easiest way to be noticed. But when we actively recognize and reinforce small wins, we show them that their positive efforts matter.

By making this shift, we help our kids feel seen, valued, and empowered—which can lead to greater emotional resilience and self-confidence over time.

To hear more strategies about focusing on the positive with your neurodivergent children tune into episode of the Every Brain is Different podcast.