How to Advocate for Your Child with ADHD or Autism
Last year, my son had a very difficult school year. His teacher believed that she could win any power struggle.
I had to advocate for him to help his teacher understand that it wasn't about power struggles, but about recognizing that he had Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), and that “winning” power struggles was not possible.
I had to help her and the school team understand what PDA was and how to work with my son so everyone felt successful.
Advocating for my son meant speaking up about his needs, educating others, and making sure he was supported.
On episode 96 of the Every Brain Is Different podcast, we spoke with Kari Baker, founder of Kind Families and mom to a son with autism and ADHD. Kari shared her personal journey into advocacy and the lessons she learned along the way.
Here are some key takeaways to help you become a stronger advocate for your neurodivergent child.
Why Advocacy Matters in Parenting Children with ADHD and Autism
At first, Kari and her husband hesitated to share their son’s autism and ADHD diagnoses with others. They feared misunderstanding and judgment.
However, staying silent only led to more confusion and stress for both of them and for their child.
Keeping your child’s diagnosis private can lead to:
Teachers, caregivers, and relatives misunderstanding your child’s behavior
Missed opportunities for accommodations and support
Increased feelings of shame or isolation for your child
Reinforcing the idea that their ADHD and/or autism is something to hide
By advocating openly, Kari found that many people responded with compassion and willingness to learn.
It is important to get your child’s permission to share their diagnosis if they are old enough to consent.
Honest Communication Builds Real Support
One of the most important steps in advocating for your neurodivergent child is being honest:
Be honest with yourself about what your child needs to thrive.
Be honest with your child about their ADHD or autism diagnosis.
Be honest with others about how they can support your family.
When you share your child’s needs clearly and respectfully, you make it easier for others to understand and offer meaningful support.
Parenting a child with autism or ADHD means educating the people around you. That education often starts with simple, honest conversations.
How to Advocate for Your Neurodivergent Child Without Apologizing
It can feel uncomfortable to advocate at first, especially if you are worried about judgment, but advocating for your child's needs is not something you should ever feel guilty about.
It is an essential part of parenting a child with ADHD or autism.
Advocacy might sound like:
"My child has sensory sensitivities, so we will bring noise-canceling headphones to the event."
"We use low-demand parenting strategies at home to support his anxiety."
"Please give him extra time to respond. He processes language differently."
These small moments of advocacy can make a huge difference in how your child experiences the world.
Help Your Child Embrace Their Neurodivergent Identity
Being open about your child’s diagnosis helps them understand and accept themselves.
When Kari and her husband told their son he had autism and ADHD, it gave him the language to understand why some things felt harder for him.
It helped him realize he was not "bad" or "wrong.” He was simply wired differently, and that was okay.
Children with ADHD and autism often benefit from hearing positive, accurate information about their brain differences. This foundation of self-understanding empowers them to advocate for themselves as they grow.
If you are parenting a child with ADHD, autism, or another neurodivergent profile, advocacy is not optional. It is essential.
By speaking honestly, setting clear expectations with others, and helping your child understand their own needs, you build a path toward confidence and belonging.
If you want to feel more confident speaking up for your child's needs, then listen to episode 96 of the Every Brain is Different podcast with Kari Baker.
